Those who know me well will attest to the fact that I am a deep person....Sometimes to my detriment I'm sure--for me and for those who get caught in a conversation with me when I'm pondering something. I'm known to be rather inept at surface conversation. Lord, help me for all my blunders! Once I told someone I just met that I liked the way she changed her haircut. Since I just met her I realized I should let her know that the reason I noticed was seeing her on Facebook which then led to my comment, "Oh, I wasn't stalking you on facebook or anything." My, my......My small talk capabilities need a serious tutorial.
Anyway, I experienced what I could compare to a groaning too deep for words this morning at Austin New Church. An amazing missionary family who serves in Ethiopia was speaking about how they were rescued from their former lives of substance abuse, materialism and impending divorce. And not only were their lives transformed but in the course of a few years of receiving a new life in Christ, they were obedient to move from the States to Ethiopia to share the good news of life with Christ to the people there. The bottom line is that we as believers in God are to be set apart for the gospel of God. So, who am I to tell God what I will allow Him to set me apart for or how exactly that will look. Such as, "Well, I will serve God in Buda, but not overseas. Or I will be set apart in my lifestyle for God but not if it means sacrificing our savings accounts. Or (in my instance) I will be set apart to bring good news to a young boy who needs a home but only one child and he has to be between the age of 3-5, etc. Afterall, our home is too small, and my children are in certain stages of life, yada, yada".
God spoke to my heart today that it is an honor and privilege to be set apart for the gospel (Romans 1:1). To share His good news and hope of rescue to those in this world. I wept over the different memories that flooded my mind of the different opportunities He has allowed me to be a part of over the years in caring for others particularly widows, orphans, and the lonely. But, now as we are preparing to adopt, how could I only accept 'certain' tasks and deny those that don't particularly 'suit' us. So at that moment I began to experience conviction for all the perimeters I have put on the child we will take for foster/adoption. My goodness, what if God had put perimeters on me--on my adoption into His family? I would have NEVER made the 'cut'! So I experienced groanings too deep for words. I began to yearn for God's perfect will for us and for the child/children He might have for us. Though I'm taking a little liberty with the verse below...I have such a longing, eagerly awaiting the privilege to redeem and rescue through adoption. I am becoming increasingly impatient and eagerly waiting.
"Not only so, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express." Romans 8:23-26
Here is a picture of what John and I found in our fortune cookies at Panda Express right after church. Hey, if God can speak through Balaam's donkey, He can certainly speak through a panda, right?