Today is Valentines Day. I had the most wonderful morning with the love of my life--this being Jesus. I was able to take a walk and allow Him to minister to my broken spirit. I have experienced two big disappointments with children that were available to be potentially placed in our home in the past two weeks. Both of these situations completely broke my heart. I yearn so desperately for God to fulfill my longing for a child and to fulfill what I believe He has called John and I to. When things don't turn out how I expect it is easy to begin to doubt just about everything and for extreme discouragement to set in.
But during my walk this morning I was reminded of the one thing that I can always depend on--the love of God for me. I am SO blessed to be loved by God. His love for me is what keeps me going. Since I asked Jesus to come into my life when I was 8 I have always had a constant companion and a reason for living and assurance of my eternity. This is what I have clung to over the years when I have found myself alone and hurting. In a recent conversation I had I admitted that Christianity to me is a 'crutch'. (Some people see that as a negative thing) But I do NEED a relationship with God. I need the strength and assurance He provides. I cannot live in this difficult world without Him and without the hope of being in His perfect presence one day. I also admitted to a friend that I am so 'in' this that I willingly put 'all my cards in' on the fact that I believe God is real and my relationship with Him is true. Today I was reminded of the passage in Matthew 13:44 "The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field. When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." I have sold it all and bought the field, so to speak.
So today on Valentines Day, I give my complete affection and allegiance to the only one who truly satisfies and loves me without fail and promises me eternal treasures in Heaven. Everything other disappointment or challenge is very very dim in comparison to this glorious fact.
"My love will never fail you." 1 Corinthians 13:8
