This morning I was wrecked at church. Just a weeping mess. We had part one of our home study Friday and it went really well. Well, except that I clearly went into it with expectations. They were dashed. With such a great need for foster homes and some 6,000 plus kids needing homes in Texas I thought there would be a great possibility of a quick placement. Well, our sweet social worker burst my naive bubble. She said we should be prepared for 6 to 9 months of more waiting once we are licensed (which should be in a few weeks). It hit me like a ton of bricks. Then I guess my emotions waited to be released like a tidal wave this morning.
The message was all about being a people who try to tangibly be the good news to those who are broken and lonely. Specifically orphans. For us to provide families and a place to belong to those who would otherwise have no where to go to spend holidays as an adult or no one for their children one day to call 'grandparents'. What breaks my heart is knowing there is a child who needs us. Who is longing for a forever family. Who God destined before the beginning of time to be called our child even though he wasn't born of my womb. But...he is not with us. We are separated and God only knows what this precious child is experiencing right now, what environment he is in, what fears he goes to sleep with at night. Waiting is so difficult...especially when it feels as if it is at the expense of an innocent child.
Then, we sang an Aaron Ivey song and I came unglued to the lyrics, "I'll find a way to get you here, if it takes my fleeting breath....I hope you know there is somebody searching for the way to get you here."
Oh dear God, please give our son comfort in somehow supernaturally knowing this. I place my trust in You to take care of him, and to give us perserverence and hope.
Aaron's music video Amos Story--while waiting for the adoption of his kids from Haiti. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J4eZybIXpm8
AMOS STORY Aaron Ivey. ©2009
Another photograph to wrestle in my head
Another sleepless night on concrete featherbed
These thoughts of you like bullets to my soul
We’ve got to find a way to get you home
I’ll find a way to get you here
If it takes my fleeting breath
Another sunrise hits the ground
And it’s a dark lonely sight
Light years away I hope you know
There is somebody searching
For the way to get you here
I will get you here
Throw the clocks away
and run out to the street
We’ll fly to distant clouds
where it’s just you and me
A day will come when all of this is gone
You’ve got to find a way to believe
Close your eyes and dream of a better day with me
As angels hold you tight, may you sleep in peace tonight
So dream, dream, dream my child
Hear the whisperings of hope
It’s a song that you can sing, as you sleep in peace tonight
